Forbidden Love
by KayraCousland
Summary: A young Knight in training befriends the Teyrn's daughter but as they grow up friendship transform into something else. Will they be able to live their love?
1. Chapter 1

Elissa was looking at her reflection in the mirror. Her father had told her someone was coming this day to become a knight. Someone her age. She was glad at the idea of having someone her age to train with, the others were too old, too strong for her and they didn't care about her. She was only a distraction to them.

"Are you ready, pup? We don't want to be late to welcome our guests."

Elissa looked at herself one more time. She hated to dress up for occasions but as the teyrn's daughter she didn't have a choice. She was a Cousland, she had to be presentable. She followed her father at the gate's castle where her mother and brother were already awaiting the newcomer. Elissa was nervous, it had been a long time since she met someone new, she was used of being alone all the time. Her brother must have felt her nervousness as he placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and squeezed it lightly. She looked up at him and smiled.

"They're approaching." One of the guards announced. The carriage stopped, a door opened. A tall man got out.

"Bann Gilmore, welcome to Highever."

"Thank you, Teyrn Cousland."

As her parents and the Bann exchanged pleasantries, Elissa noticed a boy still in the carriage. He looked at his father before getting out.

"This is my son, Roland."

Her parents greeted him before returning their attention to his father. The boy looked around, his gaze fixed on Elissa. The boy was tall for his age; he had fiery red hair and amazing green eyes. She smiled at him. At first he seemed unsure but he finally smiled back at her. His father put a hand on his back and pushed him as they followed the teyrn and teyrna for a visit of the castle. She watched them leave, hoping they'd become friends.

ooooo

It was late and Elissa couldn't sleep. She stepped outside her room on the balcony and looked at the stars in the sky. She heard a faint sound coming from the garden; she looked around and saw a form huddled against a tree. She recognized the boy from the morning as the moonlight caught his red hair. Her heart stirred as she noticed he was sobbing softly. She felt sorry for him, knowing it must have been hard to leave his family behind to live amongst strangers. She wondered if she should go to him, console him. But maybe it was better to wait. She wasn't good with those things; she'd probably say something wrong and hurt him more. She watched him brush his tears away as he rose and headed back to the barrack.

ooooo

Roland was sitting in the garden, lost in his thoughts. He didn't notice Elissa's presence at first.

"Hi." She said, startling him.

"Hi." He replied shyly.

"We haven't been introduced yesterday. I am Elissa." She smiled warmly.

"I'm Roland."

"Father said you like to read." The boy nodded, a strand of red hair falling in his eye. "I have something for you." She handed him a book, their fingers touched and Elissa felt a wave of shivers in her hand. "It's about the Grey Wardens of old. I thought you might like it. It's my favorite." She felt the heat in her cheeks, wondering if the butterflies in her belly were the sign of a teenage crush. He fixed his green eyes on her, her cheeks now on fire.

"Thank you."

She swore she could have melt at his smile, his soft voice like music to her ears. She felt like a complete fool, standing there in front of him, smiling stupidly. But even though she tried to calm down and get a hold of her emotions she kept looking at him, her whole body trembling. She tried to look away but she was enraptured by his eyes. Time almost stopped for Elissa, she could hear her heartbeat accelerate, blood pounding in her ears. _This can't be real, I can't feel those things. I don't know him. _She tried to concentrate on the moment, slowly drifting back to reality.

"The captain told me we would train together."

"Yes." Elissa managed to mumble, hoping her voice was steady enough not to betray her emotions.

"I can't wait, then." The captain called his name, he rose and before leaving he looked at her. "Thank you again for the book."

Elissa smiled at him. She watched him leave, already impatient to see him again.


	2. Chapter 2

They were twelve years old when they first met but her feelings for him never changed. They grew stronger over the years but besides that they remained the same. She still remembered the butterflies in her stomach, the heat on her cheeks and the loud pounding of her heart as if it was trying to escape her chest when she first talked to him. Many nights during those years she wondered if he could ever feel the same for her. Later she would close her eyes and fall asleep as she would dream of the feeling of his lips on hers, the warmth of his skin and the softness of his voice when he'd whisper _I love you_. But every morning when she woke up she knew it was only a fantasy. They were friends, best friends, fighting partners but nothing more. They had done so many things together and been grounded countless times. She couldn't help but smile when she recalled everytime they'd been in trouble. They would look at each other and pretend to be sorry as her parents grounded them, but in their heads they were already planning something new.

Elissa was lying on the grass, daydreaming as she often did, hoping her mother wouldn't catch her. She was supposed to get ready for the reception her parents held that night. A heavy sigh escaped her lips as she closed her eyes. She could see the sunlight trough her closed eyelids and feel the comforting warmth of the afternoon sun on her skin. She let her mind drift, taking her in that fantasy world she loved so much, the world where everything was perfect, the world where they belonged to each other. She smiled as the man in her fantasy kissed her.

"I wonder what the reason for that smile is."

She opened her eyes too quickly, she felt a little disoriented. She stared blankly at the intruder, heat rising in her cheeks as her vision cleared slowly.

"Rory? What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to train with the others?"

"I'm done training for the day." He looked at her intently, his green eyes glistening. Elissa's heart was racing in her chest, her hands trembling on her stomach. "You never answered my question." He grinned at her, visibly happy with himself.

"I'm sorry. I ... wasn't paying attention. What was the question?"

"I was wondering why you were smiling like that."

"Nothing." she said too quickly. She cursed in her head, knowing she was making a fool of herself as she sat up.

"Doesn't seem like nothing to me." Roland shot back, sitting next to her. "If I didn't know you better I'd say you were thinking about a boy."

Elissa blushed more than before and cursed him in her head. "I don't know what you're talking about. I wasn't thinking about anyone."

Roland turned his head and locked his eyes on hers, leaning closer to her, his face inches from hers. She could feel his breath caressing her cheek. Her heart accelerated. She fought the urge to close her eyes and kiss him. "Then why won't you tell me?"

"You are imagining things, Rory. The other knights have a bad influence on you." She hoped her voice wouldn't betray her feelings.

"I won't give up so easily, my lady. So, who is the lucky boy? Do I know him?" He smiled broadly, his mischievous eyes staring at her as if trying to read her very soul. She held his gaze, hoping he would let go before her. He sighed. "Ah, well, fine. Don't tell me. I didn't come to harass you. I have something for the birthday girl." He handed her a package.

"What is it?" she asked, turning the package in her hands before tearing up the wrapping. She opened the little box and stared at its content: a pendant with a dragon carved on it. She smiled and jumped at Roland's neck. "It's beautiful, thank you!"

"I'm glad you like it."

"I love it, thank you so much. You shouldn't have." Elissa gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before putting the pendant around her neck.

"It was nothing, really." Roland answered, blushing slightly at the contact of Elissa's lips.

An awkward silence fell between them, Roland staring at nothing in particular, Elissa playing with her hands.

"Elissa Cousland, what in the Maker's name are you doing? You are supposed to get ready for tonight." The teyrna's voice broke the silence.

"I guess I should go. Thank you, Rory. It is beautiful." Elissa got up and headed to her mother.

ooooo

Elissa took the pendant Roland offered between trembling fingers and looked at it, a smile forming on her lips before putting it around her neck. Someone knocked and the door opened on her mother.

"You better hurry, young lady. It is not polite to let your guests wait."

"They're not my guests, mother."

Eleanor ignored her daughter's comment and examined her closely, nodding in approval at the choice of the dress. Her eyes rested on the pendant and her gaze changed. "Take that off."

"But mother, it's a gift!"

"I know you want to please your friend by wearing the pendant he gave you but you can't wear it with that kind of clothes. Besides, he is not invited tonight, therefore he will not know if you are wearing it or not. You should choose another necklace. You need to be presentable."

Reluctantly Elissa took off the pendant and as soon as her mother was out of sight she put it in a hidden pocket in her dress before following her to the ballroom.

ooooo

Elissa was sitting in a corner of the ballroom, her eyes wandering on the guests. This was supposed to be for her birthday but none of them were her friends. Most of her mother's friends had come with their sons, but Elissa had no interest in an arranged marriage. At her mother's dismay she rejected every invitations she received from these young men, preferring to spend her evening alone. Her brother approached and handed her a glass of wine.

"Happy birthday, little sister." He sat next to her, looking straight at her. "What's wrong? You should be enjoying the reception, it's for you."

"For me? They don't care about me, Fergus."

"Of course they do. Look at all the young men who came from every corners of Ferelden for a chance to dance with you tonight."

"Only because they think they'll have a chance to marry me." Elissa looked at the liquid in the glass before drinking it. She looked at her brother, sadness in her eyes.

"You're eighteen now, Elissa. You'll have to find a suitable husband."

"I don't want a husband, Fergus."

"I understand you are nervous about the idea of getting married but I'm sure some of them are nice men. What about Thomas? Or Dairren? Maybe you should give them a chance."

Elissa frowned, she didn't want them. She would never love any of them. They had tried, so many times, to sweet talk her but she was not interested.

"I think I know what your problem is, sister. There is probably someone you want but you don't know if he wants you back." Fergus smiled at her reassuringly. "But I'm sure he does, and if he isn't interested, than he is an idiot." Fergus patted her shoulder before heading to his wife.

Elissa's eyes wandered on the guests once more. She spotted her parents; they were in the middle of a discussion with Arl Rendon Howe. Her brother was dancing with his wife. She left her chair and exited the ballroom quickly, unnoticed. As soon as she was out she took off her shoes, put her pendant around her neck and headed to the garden. She welcomed the fresh air on her face and breathed deeply. She untied her hair, knowing her mother would be mad at her if she found her in that state, but she didn't care. She sat on her favorite bench, the one surrounded by all her favourite flowers. She closed her eyes, enjoying the flowers' perfume. She heard a noise, someone was coming. She cursed, knowing she would have to go back to the reception.

"Elissa? What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to celebrate your birthday with your guests?" Roland sat next to her as Elissa breathed more easily. _Thank the Maker it's not my mother._

"I needed fresh air. And they are not my guests; they are my parents' friends." Elissa looked at the stars for a moment, thinking about what Fergus had told her. Once more she wondered if Roland could ever feel the same way about her.

"Look, a shooting star. You should make a wish." Rory pointed at the star, smiling. Elissa looked at him, noticing how his eyes shined in the moonlight.

"What for... I can't even have what I want." she whispered to herself.

"You can't be sad on your birthday. Tell me, what is it you want? Maybe I could make it happen for you." He grinned.

Elissa looked at him for a while before looking away, embarrassed. "You." she said softly as tears fell down her cheeks. She waited for a reaction but Roland stayed silent for an eternity.

"Me?" he finally asked, surprised by the answer. "Why? I'm just a knight."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Please, forget about it." Elissa rose from the bench but Roland's fingers wrapped around her wrist, preventing her to leave.

"I can't forget about what you have said, Elissa." He forced her to sit back next to him. His eyes fixed on hers. She felt his fingers on her cheek, caressing her skin slowly as if he was afraid she might break under his touch. His other hand left her wrist as his arm circled her waist, pressing her closer to him. His face was now closer to hers, his breath caressing her lips. She closed her eyes and waited for the magic moment. Their lips sealed with a kiss; she felt his heartbeat accelerate against her chest as the kiss became more passionate. Every fibers in her body wanted to explode, this was more wonderful than everything she had ever dreamed of. She felt his tongue clumsily caressing hers. She closed her eyes tighter, almost waiting to wake up in her bed any minute. The kiss ended, she opened her eyes. She was still in the garden, in Rory's arms, the feeling of his lips clinging desperately on hers.

"I love you." he blurted, his cheeks red in the moonlight. "I always have."

"I love you too, Rory. Since the day we met, six years ago." She whispered before kissing him again.

"So you were thinking about me this afternoon?" he smiled. She rested her head on his chest, her arms around his waist as he caressed her back tenderly. Elissa blushed, remembering her fantasy.

"Yes." She admitted, embarrassed.

"I often think of you too, you know. I dreamed of this moment so many times."

"We don't need our dreams anymore. We have each other." Elissa whispered, her eyes closed as she breathed deeply, noticing for the first time Rory's musky odor. He kissed her forehead tenderly. She knew she never wanted to be elsewhere than here, in his arms, forever...


	3. Chapter 3

_I know it has been FOREVER since I updated that story and I am terribly sorry, I got caught in the middle of another story and I just had no time or good ideas to continue that one. I just hope the wait will be worth it ;) I want to thank everyone who is supporting me for that story. The reviews are greatly appreciate and so is the story alerts and things like that. Thank you for reading! and I promise, next chapter will come soon :)_

* * *

Elissa was sitting in the garden lost in the sweet aroma of the flowers, thinking about Rory. She couldn't wait to see him again. Since her father had sent some men away to Denerim she felt alone. All she could think about was him: the feeling of his skin against hers, the softness of his lips, his smile. She closed her eyes tight and smiled as she travelled back to her imaginary world where she would find the man she loved. Her father sat next to her, taking her out of her reverie.

"Arl Howe is coming tomorrow with his son Thomas."

Elissa rolled her eyes and groaned softly. "I am not interested in an arranged marriage, Father. And Thomas is younger than me anyway."

"I know, Pup, but you'll have to marry eventually. Thomas Howe is a good choice. And he is quite fond of you."

"I don't love him." She pouted, hoping her father would understand and leave her alone.

"Maybe you should give him a chance. You might learn to love him."

"I don't want to."

"Please Elissa; stop acting like a little girl. You'll soon be twenty."

Elissa sighed heavily, knowing it was useless to argue with her father. She couldn't tell him why she didn't want to be closer to Thomas, or any other noble man for that matter, but she could at least pretend to be polite. "Alright, I'll be nice to him. But I am still not interested in an arranged marriage."

"Your mother will be pleased to know you'll at least try." Her father squeezed her shoulder gently before getting up.

She could promise to try but she knew she wouldn't put her heart into it. Her mind raced as an idea occurred to her. She didn't want to marry Thomas, but maybe, just maybe, her parents would accept someone else.

"Father?"

The teyrn turned around and looked at his daughter. "Yes, Pup?"

"What if I didn't marry a noble man?"

"What do you mean?"

"Let's pretend I love someone else, someone who isn't from a noble family."

"Don't be silly, Elissa. You are a Cousland, you have to marry someone who is worthy of your rank. And besides, who would that person be?"

Elissa tried to hide her pain, regretting asking. "No one. I was only asking. There is no one."

Her father looked at her intently before leaving her alone. When her father was far enough she let her tears fall, unable to control her pain any longer. She had been with Roland for almost two years now and they still had to hide. She was tired of hiding; she wanted everyone to know why she was happy, she wanted to spend all her time with him but they couldn't. Only because he was a knight and not a noble man. She closed her eyes and again she went to that special place in her heart where her love was waiting for her, a place where they could be together no matter who they were.

Ooooo

Elissa woke up as she heard a noise in her room. She looked around but it was too dark to clearly see something. She closed her eyes again, thinking it was probably her dog. She felt someone climbing in her bed, hands wrapping around her waist, lips kissing her neck and shoulder. Her heart accelerated, as she turned to smile at him. Their lips sealed in a passionate kiss, their hands caressing the other's body.

"I missed you so much." Elissa whispered, breathless.

"I missed you too." Roland grinned, his embrace tightening.

"I thought you'd be back only next week."

"It was faster than we thought." He kissed her again.

They spent the night together, making love until dawn, their hearts beating in unison as they shared their love together. Roland collapsed on the bed, catching his breath slowly as his heartbeat returned to a normal pace. He turned his head and studied the features of the woman lying next to him.

"I'll have to go before someone finds me here."

"I wish you could stay." Elissa sighted.

"I would love to, but I can't." He said before kissing her one last time.

Elissa watched him leave and again she wished her parents would understand and let her be with the only one she loved. She silently cursed her name and social rank. All she ever wanted was to be happy but people expected so much of her only because of who her father was. Elissa sighted and got out of bed, preparing for the day, knowing she would have to be ready to welcome the Howes.

Ooooo

Elissa was staring at something in front of her, her eyes avoiding the young man beside her. She felt a hand on hers and her gaze fixed on it before going to Thomas.

"You are so beautiful, as always." the young man whispered in her ear.

"Thank you." Elissa replied politely. She knew Thomas was still complimenting her but she wasn't listening anymore. Her eyes caught a familiar silhouette in the distance and she smiled. She felt Thomas closer to her as he probably thought she was smiling at him. Soon his lips were on hers. She pushed him away quickly.

"What are you doing?"

"I... I'm sorry." He mumbled, clearly embarrassed. "I thought it was what you wanted. You were smiling and blushing at what I was telling you!"

"It wasn't because of what you said."

"Oh." His eyes fixed the ground, he was embarrassed. "I thought you shared my feelings."

"I am sorry, Thomas, but I don't love you the way you want me to."

"Is there... is there someone else?" he managed to ask weakly.

Elissa looked away, unsure what to answer. What if she said yes and Thomas repeated the information? Her parents would question her and she wasn't ready yet to tell them the truth about Roland. "It's not you Thomas. I am just not interested in an arranged marriage. I am not ready yet."

"I understand." The young man replied as he rose from his seat and fled the garden.

Elissa remained on the bench, her hands covering her face. Even though she tried to be nice, she hurt Thomas. That is not what she wanted; she never imagined he really had feelings for her. She always thought he was only doing what his father wanted him to do. She felt a comforting hand on her knee.

"Are you alright?" Roland asked her, worried. "I saw Thomas running to the castle."

"He confessed his feelings for me and I had to tell him I am not interested." she sighted sadly as she looked at him. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her to him. She rested her head on his shoulder, her hand reaching for his.

"It must have been hard for him to hear that." he kissed her forehead gently in an attempt to comfort her.

"I love you." she whispered as she looked into his green eyes, smiling at the man she loved.

He smiled warmly, his cheeks blushing. "I love you too." Their lips sealed for a kiss, their surrounding disappearing. Only their love mattered, nothing else existed but them. But everything changed suddenly as a rough hand seized Elissa's shoulder and pulled her out of Roland's embrace. A gasp of surprised and pain escaped Elissa's lips as she looked up. Her father was standing behind them, furious.

"Young lady, you will go to your room immediately. As for you, young man, we need to talk."

Elissa rose, feeling her father's angry eyes burning her skin and headed quickly to the castle. She turned back only a moment to see her father gripping Roland's arm and shoving him to a door leading to the teyrn's office. Tears filled Elissa's eyes as she felt her heart break in pieces...


	4. Chapter 4

Roland was standing still, watching the Teyrn pace the room. He had been waiting for an eternity for the Teyrn to say something but he remained silent. The Teyrn suddenly turned to him, furious.

"For how long have you been seeing my daughter?"

Roland's gaze fixed the ground, ashamed, as he answered weakly the Teyrn's question. "Two years."

"_Two_ _years_?" The Teyrn exclaimed, his tone angrier than before. "You betrayed the trust I put in you."

"I didn't mean to betray your trust-" Roland started but the look the Teyrn sent him was a warning to remain silent.

"I should send you back to your father for what you have done." Roland looked up, silently pleading the Teyrn to reconsider the decision. "But you are a good knight and I need good men." Teyrn Cousland continued as he fixed Roland intently. "You will remain in Highever but if I ever see you with my daughter again, I will send you back to the Bannorn, am I clear?"

"Yes." Roland whispered softly, his eyes going back to the floor.

"You will not be allowed in the castle anymore. Now go." The Teyrn watched him leave as he hurried outside the office and headed back to the barracks.

He knew the others would start talking, speculating on the reasons why he wasn't allowed in the castle anymore, but he didn't care. He sat on his bed, his back on the wall as he closed his eyes. He kept seeing Elissa's expression as she saw her father standing behind them when he discovered their secret. He has always known this day would come but somehow he always hoped the Teyrn would allow them to be together. Elissa meant the world to him; she has always been his best friend and he couldn't imagine being with another woman. He remained on his bed, eyes closed as his thoughts drifted to her.

Ooooo

Elissa ran to her room, tears at the brink of her eyes. She ran into her brother on the way, he tried to stop her but she freed herself from his grip and continued running as fast as she could. She collapsed on her bed and buried her face in her pillow, allowing her tears to finally flow freely. She heard her brother outside the door but she couldn't make out the words, not that she cared anyway.

Time had no more meaning for her. When she heard the door open she didn't know how long she had been crying. She looked up, knowing it was her father. He looked at her, still furious.

"How could you lie to me, Elissa? I trusted you."

Elissa sat up as she brushed the remaining tears on her cheeks. "I tried to tell you, Father, but when you said I had to marry a noble man I knew I couldn't. You would have told me to end things with him."

"You have been lying for two years, young lady."

Elissa swallowed, ashamed. "I am sorry, Father." she whispered, knowing her apologies would not appease her father's wrath.

"I don't care to know which one of you started this nonsense but I want it to end now. You will not see him again. And if you see fit to disobey me, I will send him back to his Father and he will never be a Knight. You will stop training with him, until further notice and he will not be allowed in the castle. As for you, young lady, you will start looking for a husband."

"Yes, Father." Elissa agreed, reluctantly. She didn't want to marry; she knew she couldn't ever love someone else. She felt the tears coming back and she fought the best she could. Her father turned away and left the room. She saw her brother standing in the doorway as her father left but she didn't acknowledge his presence, she didn't care. She buried her face in her pillow once again and sobbed. She felt a comforting hand on her shoulder; she raised her head, her eyes meeting her brother's sorry gaze. He extended his arms and she buried her face in his shoulder as he caressed her back reassuringly.

"You heard everything, haven't you?" she asked, still sobbing.

"Yes. It must be hard for you. I knew Roland and you were close but I never suspected there was more than friendship between you two. I am sorry Father won't let you be with him, he is a good man."

Fergus remained with her for a little while, comforting her and listening to her. After a while she asked him to be alone but just as he was about to open the door she stopped him.

"Wait a moment." She hurried to a desk, took a piece of paper and quickly scribbled a note on it before handing it to him. "Could you give that to Rory for me, please?"

Fergus looked at the paper for a moment before taking it reluctantly. "I'm not sure it's a good idea, Elissa."

"I just need to talk to him. Please?" she pleaded.

"Alright, I will give it to him but only this time."

"Thank you." she said, kissing her brother on the cheek before he left.

Ooooooo

Roland was still on his bed, his back on the wall. He heard the others welcome someone and he opened his eyes, surprised to find Fergus Cousland standing in front of him.

"Don't worry; I will not go near your sister again. Your father has been clear enough."

"It is not the reason of my visit." Fergus handed him the paper Elissa gave him earlier. "I have been asked to give you this."

Roland took the paper with shaky fingers, his heart beating faster in his chest as he recognized the writing.

_I need to talk to you. Meet me tonight in the garden._

Roland's eyes fixed on Fergus, worried.

"I will not tell anyone, don't worry. I will make sure no one sees you, but I will not be able to do it again."

Roland nodded, thanking Fergus before the other man left the barrack.

That night, Roland waited in the garden, knowing exactly the spot where Elissa would meet him though she hadn't mentioned it on the note. He sat on the bench, his heart aching at the memory of that special night, two years ago, when they had shared their first kiss. He looked up at the sky, the moon was shinning as it did that night. He heard soft footsteps in the grass behind him; he rose and faced Elissa. Her arms wrapped around his waist, her lips soon on his. His heart was beating faster.

"I couldn't stop thinking about what happened, about us." Elissa was speaking fast, her eyes locked on his, her body trembling in his arms. "My father wants me to marry, but I can't be with someone else. We could leave, just the two of us. Find someplace where no one would tell us what to do. I planned everything, the horses are ready, and we could leave tonight."

Roland broke the embrace and took a step back from her, his expression sad. "I can't, Elissa. I can't let you do that; you might regret it someday. We have been happy for two years but we knew we were living a lie. I am sorry. I shouldn't have told you that I love you, it was a mistake."

He felt the burn on his cheek before realizing she had hit him. "A mistake? That's what it was for you?"

"You know what I mean."

"No, I don't. I believed you would agree to leave with me so we could be together as I thought we always wanted. But it seems I was mistaken because I am nothing more than a mistake for you and our love was a lie."

"Elissa, wait. I didn't mean it that way. I never wanted you to get hurt because of me." Roland tried to explain but Elissa was already away. He rubbed his cheek as he collapsed on the bench, his eyes following Elissa's silhouette.

Oooo

Elissa had been heartbroken when Roland had refused to leave with her, and even more when he said he had made a mistake by telling her he loved her. For days she had cried, staying alone in her room with her dark thoughts. Her brother had tried to know what happened that night but she refused to talk about it, asking him to go away. When she finally decided to go out of her room she did everything she could to avoid everyone. For weeks she spent most of her time in the library, her nose buried in books as a way to bury her pain. She knew she wouldn't be able to hide forever, she knew that eventually she would have to face her parents. But facing her parents had been easier than expected as they decided not to mention what happened.

More and more often Arl Howe visited them and each time he made sure to bring his son Thomas with him. At first she knew Thomas didn't want to be there as she could see the pain in his eyes each time their eyes met. More than once she tried to apologize for the hurt she caused him but each time she decided it would probably be better not to. With time Thomas seemed to forgive her by himself and he started to be friendly again.

"I never apologized." Elissa said, deciding now was the time.

"What for?" he looked at her, puzzled.

"For hurting you."

"I can't blame you for not sharing my feelings."

"I shouldn't have told you the way I did. It was already painful for you and I made it worse. I am sorry. It never occurred to me that you could have feelings for me, I always thought you were doing what your father wanted you to."

"I always had feelings for you Elissa." Thomas said, his cheeks blushing slightly as he took her hands in his. Elissa knew where the conversation was going, she knew once again he would express his feelings but this time she didn't really care. "I am not stupid; I know why my father keeps visiting Highever. My feelings for you have always been real. I know you do not love me the way I love you, but maybe you could learn to, someday?"

Elissa's eyes fixed a point in the distance, a familiar silhouette, Roland. Her heart soared. It had been six months since her father had caught them and she had not seen him since. For a second she wondered how things had been for him until she remembered the painful words he told her. From the distance she saw him looking at Thomas and her. He was near enough for her to clearly see his expression change as he noticed the young man was holding her hands. Her eyes locked on Thomas for a moment.

"I think I could learn to, someday." she told him as her eyes went back to Roland. She knew she wouldn't love Thomas but she would have to marry eventually, her parents putting more and more pressure on her each day, and Thomas didn't seem like the worse choice. After all, the young man was truly in love with her.

"I am happy to hear you say that." Thomas replied before kissing her hands lovingly.

During all that time Roland's eyes remained on them and Elissa could see his expression fill with pain as he witnessed Thomas' display of affection. Their eyes met for a moment and Elissa saw a tear glistening in the sunlight before Roland turned his back on them and headed quickly to the barrack.


	5. Chapter 5

Elissa left the castle's Main Hall and wandered slowly in the castle. When she had entered the Main Hall and found her father with Arl Howe she had been nervous. The first thought that had crossed her mind was that her parents had decided it was time for her and Thomas to betroth but the reason her father had summoned her was different. Teyrn Cousland was planning to leave for war with Arl Howe and he wanted Elissa to guard the castle in his absence. Elissa had argued with her father; all her life she had trained as a warrior and like her brother she wanted to join the battle at Ostagar but he wouldn't listen. Instead he had insisted on the fact that she needed to guard the castle and maintain peace. Elissa had agreed reluctantly, knowing it was useless to argue. Her father had also wanted her to meet a visitor, Duncan, a Grey Warden. At the mention of the order she had been thrilled as she remembered all the tales she had read about the Grey Wardens. Duncan had told her he was looking for a new recruit, saying he came to test Roland but that she would also make a fine recruit. Elissa had blushed at the thought a Grey Warden could consider her as a possible recruit but her father had insisted his daughter would not join the Wardens. Once again Elissa tried to argue and once again her hopes vanished as she understood her father would never let her become a warrior.

Teyrn Cousland had then asked Elissa to leave and deliver a message to her brother. As she headed to Fergus' room she was lost in her thoughts, thinking about all the questions she would ask Duncan when he'd have a moment to talk with her. Elissa wasn't paying attention at where she was going and suddenly bumped into someone, her cheeks blushing furiously as she looked up to apologize to the guard. Her expression changed rapidly as she noticed who she had bumped into.

"I am sorry." she said coldly. "I didn't know you were now allowed in the castle."

"This is the first day I am back on duty inside." Roland replied calmly though he was clearly hurt by Elissa's coldness.

Elissa passed beside him in an attempt to continue her way but Roland grabbed her wrist and made her look at him.

"Elissa, can we talk?" his eyes were pleading.

"Talk about what? There is nothing more to say." She tried to free herself of his grip but he didn't let go.

"Please. I don't want things to end like that between us."

"What are you expecting, Roland? You broke my heart."

"I wanted to say yes, you know, when you asked me to leave with you. But I couldn't let you do something you might have regretted later."

"It was my choice. I wanted it." Tears threatened to flow as the pain resurfaced in Elissa's heart but she managed to control them. Once again she tried to free her wrist and this time she succeeded. An awkward silence fell between them as they were avoiding the other one's gaze.

"I heard there is a Grey Warden here to test you." Elissa finally broke the silence.

"Yes."

"So you are planning to leave my Father's service?"

"I thought it would be better if I left." Roland's eyes fixed on her and for a moment he looked as if he wanted to ask something but didn't know how. He remained silent for a while before continuing. "I heard rumors about Thomas Howe and you."

"What I am doing is none of your concern. You lost that privilege." The coldness in her tone was back as she looked at him angrily. "I have to go."

"Of course, my Lady. I am sorry for asking." Roland replied sadly, using her title instead of her name. She turned her back on him and continued her way to her brother's room.

Oooooo

Elissa emerged from her sleep as she heard her Mabari bark at something.

"What is it, boy?" she asked. The dog looked at his mistress before returning his attention to the door.

Elissa got out of bed, worried. The door suddenly flung open as one of the guards came into the room.

"I am sorry, my Lady, but the Teyrn sent me to get you to safety."

"Get me to safety? What is happening?" Elissa asked as she grabbed her armor and started putting it on.

"The castle is under at–" an arrow lodged itself into the man's throat, preventing him to finish his sentence. Elissa grabbed her swords and quickly headed to the hall where four men were fighting. She gasped in surprise and horror as she recognized the emblem on the attackers' shields. They were Howe's men. She helped the guards defeat the enemy and before she could make her way to the door her mother got out of her room, perplexed.

"Elissa, what is going on?" the Teyrna looked around and her expression filled with horror as she understood. She headed back to her room and, like her daughter did before, she put on her armor and grabbed her weapon.

"The castle is under attack. Why would Arl Howe betray Father?"

"I don't know. We should find your father. He is probably in the Main Hall. But before we should make sure Oriana and Oren are safe." She headed to Fergus room. The door was slightly open and as Elissa pushed the door she knew what she would find inside. She heard her mother gasped behind her as she saw the corpses of Fergus' wife and son.

"Arl Howe will pay for this." Elissa swore as anger built slowly inside. She left the room, her mother on her heels.

The two women fought their way to the Main Hall, Howe's men falling at their feet. Eleanor entered the Hall, calling her husband before realizing a new battle awaited them. Elissa's heart soared as she noticed one of the men fighting was Roland. He was covered with blood and he was exhausted. When the enemy was defeated, Roland came to them, relieved.

"Your Ladyship, my Lady, you're both alive! I was certain Howe's men had gotten through." Roland said, his eyes locking on Elissa.

"Where is Bryce?" Eleanor asked.

"Teyrn Cousland was looking for you. He is badly wounded. I told him not to go but he was determined to find you two. He ran towards the kitchen probably thinking he would find you at the servant's exit in the larder."

"Bless you Ser Gilmore. May the Maker watch over you." Eleanor thanked Roland before heading quickly to the door that would lead them to the servant's exit but she stopped short when she realized Elissa wasn't following.

Elissa was looking at Roland, concerned. "You're injured." Her fingers went to a wound on his arm where a sword had cut through his armor.

"It's nothing, I'll be fine. You should go before it is too late."

"Come with us." Elissa blurted, her eyes fixed on his.

"I can't. I swore to protect the castle. We will hold Howe's men; you should have enough time to make it out of here safely."

"I can't leave without you, Roland. Please, come with us." Elissa pleaded, her hands grabbing his.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, his hands slipping slowly from hers as he turned to go back to defend the main door.

"Roland, wait!" Elissa ran after him. She grabbed his arm and made him look at her. "I love you so much." Her arms wrapped around his neck, their lips sealing in a desperate kiss.

"I love you too, Elissa. But you must go before Howe's men find you. I will never forgive myself if something happened to you." He kissed her again before returning to the door, shouting orders to the men.

Burning tears flowed on her cheeks as she understood he would risk his life to make sure she survived. She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned her head slightly to meet her mother's sorry gaze.

"Come, we have to go." her mother whispered softly. Elissa brushed her tears angrily and headed to the larder, hoping her father would be there.

As soon as the larder's door was into view Elissa knew something was wrong, she could feel it. She entered slowly, her mother behind her but instead of the ambush she awaited she found her father bleeding on the floor.

"Thank the Maker you are both safe." the Teyrn exclaimed, relieved, as he saw his wife and daughter enter. Eleanor ran to her husband and took him gently in her arms, careful not to hurt him more than he already was.

"Bryce... what happened?" Eleanor asked.

"Howe's men found me first. They almost killed me ..."

Elissa fell on her knees in front of her father, anger rising in her heart. "I will kill him for what he has done."

"He can't get away with his betrayal. Find your brother, tell him what-." He winced at the pain taking him as he held his side tighter.

"We must get away now." Eleanor said.

"I will not make it; I will only slow you down. Go to Ostagar, tell the King what happened here."

"No! The exit is just here, we will find you healing magic, and you will make it." Eleanor pleaded though she knew he was right.

"The castle is surrounded; it is too late for me."

"I'm afraid the Teyrn is right, Howe's men are everywhere. We tried to get to you sooner but it was impossible. I'm sorry." Duncan entered the larder sheathing his sword.

"You are Duncan, right? The Grey Warden?" Eleanor asked, Duncan nodded.

"Duncan, you are under no obligation to me, but I beg you, take my wife and daughter to safety."

"I will your Lordship, but I'm afraid I must ask something in return. I came here to find a recruit and I must leave with one."

"I ... I understand." the Teyrn whispered.

"I will take your wife and daughter to Ostagar and make sure they are safe. You have my word." Duncan turned to Elissa. "I offer you a place in the Grey Warden. Will you fight with us against the Darkspawn?"

Elissa looked at her father for a moment then returned her attention to Duncan. "I accept." She rose and stood beside Duncan, waiting for her mother to join them.

"Darling, go with Duncan, tell your brother what happened here. Make your father and I proud."

"Eleanor-" Bryce started but she cut him.

"I am not leaving you, Bryce. I will buy them time by fighting every man that comes to that door but I won't abandon you."

Elissa watched her parents, tears filling her eyes. For so long she had believed she hated them for what they had done but she never expected to lose them so suddenly. "I love you both." She blurted as she understood she couldn't stay mad at them forever.

"We love you too, pup. I know you will make us proud." The Teyrn groaned as unbearable pain took him, more blood pouring from his side. From outside the door they could hear the enemy approaching. Elissa felt a hand on her arm as Duncan pulled her to the exit.

"We have to go now or it will be too late." Duncan pressed her.

"Goodbye, darling." Eleanor said as the secret door closed behind her daughter.

Ooooo

As they fled the castle Elissa couldn't help but look back. She knew without a doubt her parents were dead as a thick cloud of smoke rose from the castle. She closed her eyes, her thoughts drifting toward Roland. He was the one who was supposed to become a Grey Warden but it was her instead who would take the Joigning because her father had asked Duncan to save her. Her fingers caressed her lips for a second as she recalled the last kiss he gave her, the feeling of his lips clinging desperately on hers. Suddenly she felt alone in the world, everyone she cared for were either dead or too far. She wished Rory had accepted to come with her but she couldn't blame him. He had chosen to sacrifice himself so the one he loved would live.

"I promise to find him and make him pay..." she swore softly as her sadness was replaced by hatred for the man who destroyed her life.

* * *

_Some parts of the dialogue are from the game but I modified them a bit._

_This is the last chapter of Forbidden Love but that doesn't mean it is the end :) I intend to continue Elissa's adventure during the Blight. _

_Thanks to everyone who supported me with this story by reading, reviewing, adding as favorite or story alert. It truly means a lot to me :)  
_


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